The Bread Project Dry Run Day, as told by Jessica Heng

Amidst the busy school work and other projects that I have to do, there is finally time for me to settle down to do some community work. Yupps, indeed, it was the bread distribution project. But this bread project try-out session, burnt the whole of my morning and my afternoon. And yes, it’s only a try-out.

Haha! It wasn’t as easy as it thought to be. As usual, the worried and panicky me, was asking Angie repeatedly, “did I missed out anything? Sure? Confirm?” First try-out, together with Mr. Chong and Ms Lim, I definitely didn’t want anything to go wrong. Not only it being the first project that I’m engaging in S-LC, it is also my school’s first time working with the welfare organisation in Bedok, so impression of my school lies in us as well. I know, people might say that it just the first try-out, do not need to be so particular about it. No doubt, but me, being a perfectionist, I would really like to see the project going smoothly and well.

The first reaction at the bread shop this morning was a disastrous one. I kind of have to be wake up like early in the morning at 7 plus, despite having no school. I reached the bread shop and waited for Angie. After which, we went forward to ask for the breads. And the lady at the counter pointed to the pink box. I was like “we are so dead, we need to spend lots, and I don’t think there are even 20 available.” Really horrifying, basically the worst kind of shock you can get in the early morning. So I brought Angie to my grandma’s house and started packaging for the pathetic number of breads we have, and surprising, we have about 24 breads, less than that to be exact, but smart me, decided to cut one of those long ones into two, hence having that amount. I was desperate; there aren’t any funds for me at all, so I was trying to cut cost. However, we can’t possibly have 24 breads for 16 households, so we are left with no choice but to buy. Therefore, we go the bread shop again, and being an economics student, cost of production analysis came in handy. I was basically calculating cost in the bread shop while choosing which bread to buy. Sounds rather pathetic, I supposed. Finally decided on cakes that look like bread, it was relatively cheap as compared to many, save cost remember? 5 packets, each having cut into 8 portions, and that amounts to 40 “breads”. And it cost only like 12 dollars. Trust me; that is the cheapest you can ever find in Q bread. Angie and I did everything, from packaging to pasting of expiry dates, storage. And it took us around 2 hours to complete everything.

After which, we proceed on to Bedok Radiance Senior Activity Centre to wait for the rest. And we met the same uncle again. This uncle, whom is also the caregiver, seems happy-go-lucky, cheering the elderly at the centre up, but then, through chatting for twice, I have this weird feeling, somehow, I feel that he has really seen the dull-side of society, where elderly gets abandoned, either that or he feels that elderly is a burden upon the family, and they should die early and stop misery to themselves and the family. I guess I have not really learnt how to deal with such situations yet, and indeed, it is really saddening to hear such things.

Is this really the situation happening?
Is society today such apathetic?
Have you ever wondered?
Is the elderly, whom you’re closest to, feel that they are a burden upon the family?
Or do you feel that way as well?

Being new to the project, my first visit to the very first household was awkward. I’m not used to the formality. It was a different experience from the other few community work that I have. It’s no longer the chit-chatting with the elderly at the old folks’ home. From the introduction of where we are from, to the introduction of the bread project, to the expiry date and also the next upcoming visit, it was just not the usual things that I do. And on top of that, telling that a stranger, I have never seen before. The words coming out of my mouth was….full of hesitation. It’s the fear of making mistakes and the destruction of first impression? Something along that line would be it. However, it got better, the feeling got better as we approach households to households. Well, at least, for me, I feel more comfortable? I realise that communication in Malay seems better for me, maybe because the people with me doesn’t understand, except for Ms Lim, I supposed. I feel more at home, maybe.

Along the way, we met a few that we visited or talked to a few days back during our first visit to that area. Well, communicating with them is of course very much better, because we met before and have chatted before. There was a particular lady whom I was really looking forward to, especially in this bread project. It was the lady, whom ate rice with soy sauce for lunch that day and had skipped breakfast because there wasn’t food. But surprising indeed, her name was not on the beneficiary list. However, we did deliver the bread to her doorstep. That hug from her while taking the photo and her remembering me, was a very warm feeling. It was really nice, like the sweetest feeling you can get from an elderly you have helped.

The greatest impact to me was the family, with this small boy standing at the gate. It was a family of 3. I personally passed the bread to her daughter and she was literally pleading to have more as the elderly at home have not eaten a single thing from morning. I’m an emotionally-driven person; I cannot take it when you tell me that someone has not eaten, because of the reason that there is no food on the table. Whether or not it’s true, I believe it. I can skip my meals, in order to give it to someone who has not eaten. But sadly, we are afraid that we do not have enough bread to go around and we are not supposed to also because the next time round, they will demand for more. Whatever the case, it really hit right into me. I just have the sudden surge of feeling that….bread itself is not doing anything much, it can save them from hunger for today, and maybe tomorrow. However, what about the other days? Guess, Irene was affected by that particular household as well. She was grabbing my hand really tight, and I doing it as well. My mind was totally….don’t how to say, it’s more than just blank. After that, I was a blur already; I can actually walk past the next household without realizing that I walked past it. And while talking to the next household, I can actually said “We will be officially doing this project next week”, when it is actually next year.

Through households to households, we met really nice people, and some even open their doors and invited us into their houses and also to take photo with them.

A simple thank you from them, or a little smile on their faces, it really a sense that you will tend to feel all the work from the early morning, seems nothing and what you have done is not gone to waste. A sense of satisfaction, I supposed. It is painful to see the living condition that they are going through, worrying as the day goes by, on whether there is food on the table or not.

Poverty, in such a developed country, like Singapore, is in such situation already, let alone the developing world. However sadly, how many people actually know of such situation? People often look at things at a bigger scale, what about the people right beside you?